The Beach in February

I was down at the beach last week and saw pods of dolphins on two different days. The first day there were about 30 of them in a cove and a few even came about 20 feet from shore, riding some of the waves as they were breaking. The sun was setting and red-orange shards of light ran through the cove and over the dolphins as they played.

The second pod I observed on a different day. There were only about 10 of them and they were young, teenager type dolphins. They had paired up and were one of the most spread out pods I've ever seen. They lingered and only very slowly made their way down the beach, about 40 yards offshore.

After I observed the second pod, I thought of a pun to accurately describe what I was feeling. I too would like a porpoise-driven life.

Brrreeeport and Dick Cheney T-shirts

First, brrreeeport is a made up word, coined by rogue blogger, Robert Scoble as an experiment to get z-list bloggers like myself (or perhaps that would that be z-minus list - but whose counting?) found and to test just what the search engines are doing with such made up words.

You can read more about his experiment at: Scobleizer

Second, hear any good Dick Cheney jokes lately? On Monday, I put a couple of Dick Cheney t-shirt designs on both the funnydesigns.com site and the politicaltshirts.us site. It was hard to resist having some reaction to the hunting accident news.

Here are a few of the most popular Dick Cheney jokes from TV:

"Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney." – David Letterman

"Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent." – Jay Leno

Well, besides plugging my own funny t-shirts, I find it necessary on occasion to give other funny t-shirt sites kudos as well. Another site with a pretty funny collection of Dick Cheney t-shirts from all sorts humorous t-shirt publisher can be found at Cafepress. It's definitely worth checking these out.

Well, that's all for now. Remember, in life, it's important to duck and cover. And if you do happen to happen across the path of our Vice Prez, just stop, drop and roll and you should be Okay.

Disposable Razor Sharp Half-Wit

A number of years ago, one of the major disposable razor manufacturers came out with the revolutionary idea of twin blades. The first blade stretches the whisker out, and the second blade cuts the whisker below the skin line for the ultimate in smooth shaving.

Sometime later, Saturday Night Live aired a parody commercial depicting the three-blade razor, in which the first blade stretches out the whisker, the second blade stretches it out even more and the third blade cuts the whisker below the skin line for the ultimate in smooth shaving.

A couple of years later, the same razor manufacturer, hoping the public had forgotten the parody, came out with the revolutionary three-blade razor. It's amazing when invention follows parody.

It was at this time that I found myself joking about the four-blade razor and the five-blade razor as well.

Well, just recently it has happened. Gillette has rolled out its five-blade Fusion razor (with two lubrication strips) which supposedly achieves a 30-percent closer shave than Gillette's current MACH3Turbo system.

Now, my question is, if you had the ultimate shave 10 or so years ago, how can you keep getting even closer shaves? I mean does this new shaver do a skin peel as well? Is there a little electrolysis unit embedded in the shaver that actually kills the hair follicles at the roots?

C'mon! Let's just skip to the 10-blade razor and be done with it. Enough of the dramatic build up. You know it's coming. Write the major razor manufacturers today and tell them to skip to the 10-blade razor and stop holding back!

Health Club Humor

Well, I just got back from working out at the local health club. It just kills me to see some of the trainers ducking behind the outside corner of the building for a smoke as if no one can see them.

What’s also amusing is to see people circling the parking lot looking for a parking spot close to the front door. Will it really kill them to walk a few extra steps before getting on the treadmill?

I’m also in constant amazement to see how many people dress up to work out. I mean, I’m still wearing the tattered work out clothes that I’ve had since my third grade gym class and then there are others who spend a couple hundred bucks in order to look good while they’re sweating and grimacing. You know the kind. They’re grimacing as if a turd were stuck in them and just won’t come out.

Anyway, Viva le difference! Or as they say when I’m trying to get back into the country, “Visa le difference!” and “Take off your shoes, homeboy and show us the dynamite you have stashed under your cuticles.”

‘Nough said.

Supper Bowl XL Party Favors

Sometimes all of the forces of the universe come together and cause, well, indigestion. But, other times these same forces, call them karma or kismet or even Murphy's Law come together to provide us with the perfect spawning ground for a great visual pun.

Take for instance, the upcoming Super Bowl 40 or XL as they are calling it (don’t you just love roman numerals – they give everything class?). Well, because XL can be taken as 40 or as X-Large, I placed on our website a funny t-shirt design called "Supper Bowl XL" for those who have spent a lot of time chowing down and expanding at the waist-line.

Supper Bowl XL can also be ordered in size 2XL, though you will never see a football game with such numerals. For the Pittsburgh Steelers, Jerome Bettis would be a perfect candidate for a Supper Bowl XL t-shirt and one the Seattle side, Mike Holmgren would also fill the bill just fine. In fact, both the Pittsburgh and Seattle offensive and defensive lines would more than fill out a few Supper Bowl XL t-shirts.

If the Cleveland Browns were playing in this Super Bowl, we could fit the whole 'Dawg Pound' with Supper Bowl tees.

But, I digress. Yet, this is exactly where I wanted to go. So, for the fans of eating, buy a few Supper Bowl XL t-shirts today, in any size, and show your support for America's favorite past time - chow time.